Little by little

I don’t blog much about marriage.  Maybe it’s because I don’t think I really know enough to share with anyone else.  Maybe it’s because I don’t spend enough time thinking about it or doing much about it.  I don’t know, but I don’t hardly ever write about my marriage.

Marriage is hard.  It is full of sacrifice, work, choices.

One of the things Tim and I are trying to do right now is give our relationship a bit more attention.  We’re not teetering on the edge of divorce or anything like that (although we’ve been close before), we just know that we need to give that area of our lives a little more care and attention.

Life has been intense to say the least.  A lot of other things vie for our attention, and most often win.  There is church, Caleb, cleaning, veg time, our own personal desires, financial stress, family, friends, work….

Each decision can nudge you closer together or farther apart.  Even those “little” decisions, that aren’t bad in and of themselves, when not monitored can cause you drift farther and farther apart.

When we choose TV or work or internet or cleaning or (insert your own here) over our relationship over and over and over it causes us to drift apart.  Each of those things are not bad!  But choosing them over and over and over and over instead of our partner can be very detrimental.

So, I am wanting to do what I can to make our relationship better.  I want to make good choices to do things to draw closer to Tim.  It’s hard.  Life is SO demanding.  But living far apart is miserable.

What are your secrets to a healthy marriage?  The little things?  The FREE things (we have no money right now and I’m low on creative ideas for this!)?  What draws you closer to your partner?


2 thoughts on “Little by little

  1. For those of us who have been married long enough to know that marriage takes alot of work, patience, dedication, prayer, support, love, tears, hugs, kisses and compromise, we also know that it has it’s ups and downs. Yes, sometimes it seems as though the downs outweigh the ups, but in actuality they really don’t.

    Since you and the hubby are going through a 21 day fast, this is a great opportunity for both of you to re-connect. Re-connect with God and each other, as your vows brought you together as ONE in HIM.

    So how can the two of you re-connect or re-ignite the flame that is flickering right now, let’s see!

    1. If you haven’t already asked God for guidance on how to approach the distance between you and the hubby then that is where you should start.

    2. If you and the hubby haven’t sat down to talk about what the two of you can do to get closer to each other maybe you should.

    3. You can plan a candlelight picnic on the living room floor (blanket and all) with some of your (both of your) favorite music playing. You might want to consider making his favorite meal for this one. 🙂

    4. Since you have some snow outside meet him outside coming home one day and start a snow ball fight, a fun loving snow ball fight, and then go inside to enjoy a warm cup of hot chocolate together.

    5. Since men are more visual and physical than emotional communicators (as we may be sometimes, LOL), wear his favorite clothing item (i.e. which may include wearing absolutely nothing), and initiate an intimate moment with your husband.

    If you notice, I didn’t mention anything about watching television in any of my suggestions. Ultimately, the two of you need to remember the things that you used to do to court each other in the beginning. You know the things that you used to do before a baby, working in ministry, or whatever else that has began to occupy that special place and time that should be meant for your spouse. Yes, I know that this is not easy but you have to start somewhere.

    I remember before my husband and I got married, the Pastor told us that marriage should flow something like this:

    GOD First
    Spouse Second
    Family (ie kids) Third
    Church/Ministry Fourth

    and so, on and so forth! Hope this helps.

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