Don’t get me wrong, I was hungry! I was tempted! I wanted things I have chosen to give up during this time.
But today was a day of joy and peace.
I know not every day will be like today. But I am going to enjoy that today was a day of joy and peace.
When I am hungry (often!), craving or tempted by some food I have chosen to give up (often!), when I am preparing Caleb’s food, I am choosing to pray. I pray “God, I want You more than food. I want You to nourish me. I want you to mold me. I want to become more like You. I want You to guide me right now. I want to seek You.” I pray this over and over and over. It helps. Does it take away all hunger? No. But it gives me strength to resist.
Is life still very uncertain right now? Yes! Do I still have A LOT of questions about our future? Yes!
But I had a peace today. A peace knowing that God has not forgotten us. That God is in control – EVEN when I feel like life is out of control. It’s a peace I can’t really fully explain or comprehend.
And today brought joy. I know we are supposed to have joy all the time, but that is tough sometimes. It has been very hard at times lately. But today was different. I made a comment to Tim today that I enjoyed laughing with him. It has been a while since we have joked and laughed lightheartedly. It was really nice!
And tonight, our time with Caleb was more peaceful. We didn’t do anything special, but we all enjoyed one another more. We just played and cuddled like normal, but it was filled with more peace and joy. Caleb didn’t have a time out or have a “NO!” fit that are common at his age and in the recent days. It was just….nice!
So, today was a good day. I know all days during this fast may not be like this. But I will treasure today.
And I will continue on this fast and seek God more and more and listen for Him. We’ll see what tomorrow holds!
How do you find peace and joy?