While I was at Blessing Ranch I told our counselor that I was afraid of looking, or being, weak by taking Tim back.
Let me explain.
We’ve all seen in the past few years the politicians, pastors, people in places of influence having affairs on their wives. While they are giving their press conference or interview and stating what they’ve done and how sorry they are, their wife just stands there, by his side, silent. Silent, but appearing to support their husband.
Those always infuriated me. I felt like they looked so weak. Why would they just stand there? Why would they take that man back? How could they tolerate that kind of behavior? How could they allow themselves to be walked on like that?
He gave me some good perspective. He said if, and only if, you take “the grit” out of their story are they weak. “The grit” is all the heart piercing hard work, tears, and agony that they had to go through to get to the point of taking their husbands back.
“The grit” sucks! It is NOT for the weak! The duration of it is different for everyone. There is no plan for it. No one does it the same. There are no neatly laid out steps for it. There is nothing easy about it. It is messy. Painful. Hard. And necessary to be healthy on the other side.
I am ashamed that I thought of those women as weak. If they’ve gone through “the grit”, they are anything but weak. Whether they stay with their husband or not, if they’ve gone through “the grit” to get healthy, they are not weak.
I am going through “the grit”. It sucks. It’s hard. It hurts. But it’s necessary.