I hate Saturdays now

I hate Saturday nights.

Because they lead to Sunday mornings.

And the means that on Saturday night, now, I have to figure out where to go to church on Sunday morning.

And this is causing me a lot of pain lately.

Today is Saturday.  And tonight sucks.

It’s really hard to go from leading a church one day to not leading a church the next day.  And not just leading a church, but being the people who started the church.  Do you know how much of your heart and your self and hard work goes into starting a church?  And then continuing it every. single. week?  A LOT.

We started Veritas for of a lot of reasons.  We believed God was calling us to do it.  And God had given us such a passion for church and what it could be.  That it could be used as one of God’s tools to transform lives.  We had so many ideas and dreams of what church, what Veritas, could be.  And who it would reach.  And how we would do it.

Over the last three years of this process I’ve poured so much into this.  And met people, been hurt by people, and loved people.  I’ve tried so hard to lead well.  To create experiences that could help bring people closer to this God who created them and loves them and wants so much more for them, even if that experience is just for a few moments.

And now, it’s all gone.  And I have no home church yet.  And I have to look for a church.  And there is no church like Veritas.  And I’m not saying Veritas was the best church ever – my heavens we made plenty of mistakes!  But it was the best church for me.  At least I feel that way.  It was the best church for me because, well, it was formed out of our passions.

And now I have to find a different church to go to.

And I miss speaking into people’s lives. I miss being a part of their lives.  And getting to teach them what God says and challenging us all to live differently.  And I miss seeing people connect with God and worship Him and actually interact with Him.  I miss making a difference in people’s lives.

And this all comes crashing down on me on Saturday nights as I try to figure out what to do with my Sunday.  And I don’t like it.

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2 thoughts on “I hate Saturdays now

  1. Praying that God would lead your steps and that your heart would be open to what he has for you!

    I can’t imagine what your going thru!

    Praying you would embrace receiving and soak it up to again pour out!

    love you girl!

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