We went to Brew City Church on Sunday. We met the pastors there (Chris and Randy) during our days of planting Veritas. They are amazing men! And their wives are just beautiful inside and out. Chris and Randy L O V E people. I mean it. I have NEVER met anyone who so genuinely loves. Whenever we show up at Brew City Church they ask how we are doing – and REALLY want the answer. No matter what that answer is. Even if that answer comes with tears. They don’t get uncomfortable with raw honesty. Actually, I think they would be offended if they didn’t get that! And they always give us a hug and tell us they love us.
There were so many good things from the message, but they are escaping me at the moment because of what happened after the service.
Chris came up to us, actually chased me down as I was off to get Caleb from the kids area. (I’m not ready to stand around and mingle at a church. I just want to come in, attend the service, and leave.) He hunted us down to ask if he could pray with us. I was happy to accept! I don’t get that offer much, or ever, and we can use all the prayer we can get.
He asked me what was the hardest thing I’m facing so he could pray specifically. That was a hard question to answer! I was really taken aback. It was hard to narrow it down. But I told him the thing that has been hardest for me is dealing the pain and dealing with satan throwing things in my face which just makes it harder.
I keep getting flashbacks of Tim confessing and being thrown back into that moment. I keep getting images in my head of him and her together – eventhough I’ve never met her or seen them together. The thoughts satan tries to throw in my head are things that I shouldn’t be dwelling on. They are things that take me to a bad, dark place that I shouldn’t be living in.
I need to live in the hope that God offers. I need my thoughts to be ruled by God.
When Chris was praying for us, he said something that really caught my attention. He said that satan is like a dog with no teeth. He can bark at me, and that will probably startle me, but he can’t bite me.
I love that imagery! I am very visual.
Yes, I have to deal with the thoughts, I have to deal with what Tim did. And that hurts. And that is hard.
But satan can’t “bite” me. He can only bark at me. I like that.
I am going to work hard at remembering that. That gives the power back to God, which is what I want. And what I need.