I got a facebook message from a friend the other day. She is getting a reunion together of our girls sunday school class from high school. I haven’t seen most of these girls for….well, we’ll just say since high school, ok?!?!
Thanks to the wonderfulness of Facebook, we have found each other and some of us are in the area.
At first, I thought this was an AWESOME idea! We were all in sunday school and youth group together for all four years of high school, some even since middle school. I lost touch will all but two of them after we graduated. I thought it would be so fun to all get together and see what has been going on and meet all these kids (two of them have FIVE kids each!). It sounded really exciting to me!
But then I got to thinking. I don’t know if I want to go now.
You see, I’m embarrassed. Sure, I’m embarrassed about how much weight I’ve gained and how much I’ve aged since high school….blah, blah, blah.
But I’m also ashamed of my life right now.
I’m embarrassed that my husband cheated on me.
I’m embarrassed that our church closed.
I’m embarrassed that we lost our jobs.
I’m embarrassed that I’m not doing anything with my life right now.
I don’t really want to sit and talk about my life right now with people I haven’t seen since high school. That is why I didn’t go to my high school reunion a couple weeks ago.
So, now I don’t know what to do.
And I don’t think that feelings of shame are from God. I don’t think I should be feeling this way.
I’m just now sure where to start in sorting these feelings out. But I have to.
I don’t want to lose out on all kinds of opportunities in life because of satan trying to take me down. I don’t want to lose.
I gotta figure something out. I just gotta!
And I have to figure out what to do about this little reunion shindig.