I’m fighting!

I just started reading a book called “What God Really Thinks About Women”.  I am really good at STARTING books, but don’t finish them!  Here’s my stack of books that I am “currently” reading.  I’m reading the “Women” book with some other girls though, so that will keep me going with it!

I like it so far.  I don’t think I have a good view of how God sees women, where we fit in the church and how God can use us.  In many of my past church experiences I have been “told” by the way I have been treated that I am less.  That I am not capable of as much as a man simply because of my gender.  This is something I need to work through.  And I don’t want to become a crazy feminist who sees myself as better than a man!  That’s not at all where I am going with this.  I just want to learn to see myself the way God does and act accordingly.

This book looks at how Jesus interacted with women to give us a glimpse into how God sees us. So it starts by giving us a bit of a history of the world that Jesus walked into.  I’ve always known that women have not been respected much through time.  But the extent of the abuse and how women were viewed and treated was heartbreaking.  Women were seen as only property – either a wife who should only be used to care for the man and procreate, or just as an object of desire to be used and then discarded.  One quote actually made my heart break.  I literally almost cried as I read this statement: Two thousand years ago, Rabbi Eliezer stated, “Rather the words of the Torah {the scriptures of that time, the first books of the Bible} be burned than entrusted to a woman.” OH, that just hurts my heart!  Where would I be right now if I didn’t get to have the Bible???

Anyway, the author reminds us of the Garden of Eden.  She talks about the man and woman being created, and also of their fall.  When God came to meet with them in the Garden after they had sinned, He “punished” Adam, Eve, and the serpent (satan).

In Genesis 3:15 God says: And I will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring.  He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel.”

The author writes:

The serpent, the woman and the man were all judged, but only the serpent and the ground were cursed.  God’s judgement on the serpent foreshadowed events that were yet to come – the day Jesus Christ would crush satan’s head with His heel.  Satan clearly understood that his demise would come from a woman’s womb.  And from the very beginning, satan has been decked out in full battle array to destroy her.  It is the devil himself who has the destruction of women in his game plan.

Please hear me, I am not in any way trying to say that men are not important in God’s plan also or that women mean more to God or that satan does not also attack men.  That is not the case.  But we can see that stan has had it out for us since the beginning and will use just about any means necessary to take us down.

You know all those little plaques or bookmarks, or magnets that have your name on them with the “meaning” of your name?  I got those as a kid.  They all have a slight variation, but generally Victoria means victorious.  That wasn’t very inspiring as a kid.

I am getting more of that meaning now.

Satan has tried, so many times, to destroy me.  But I am still standing.  I am still kicking!

The reason I am still standing today.  The reason I can be “victorious” at all.  The reason I have been able to overcome all the crap in my life is because of God’s power and His love for me.

And because I hate satan so much!  He has tried to destroy our marriage.  He has tried to destroy Tim.  He has tried to destroy our family.  He has tried to take me down, take me out, and I absolutely REFUSE to let him win!  He keeps trying, but I won’t let him.  He tries to tell me I’m not good enough, not worthy, not loved, not lovable, that I can’t take this anymore, that I should just give up.

But I can’t.  I CAN’T let him win!  I lose sometimes.  He gets in my head, he pierces my heart, but he CAN’T win.

God is more powerful.  God never gives up.  And so I can’t either.  And HE wins in the end.  I’d like to be on the winning team.

How about you?  What’s your story?

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