Today is a mess

I just feel kind of a mess today.

It’s not all bad.  I’m going over and over the Bible verses in my head, I’m praying, I know God is here with me.

But I’m just having a really hard time today.

Tim’s job has been very demanding this week.  Yesterday he didn’t get home until almost 1 in the morning…he started working at 9:30am.  (I stayed up waiting for him so I’m way overtired which doesn’t help my mental state)  I know, stupid crazy.  Today he will likely be home about 10 or 11 tonight.  Then he will work again tomorrow.  Then Friday he leaves for a job for the whole weekend.

And Saturday is Caleb’s birthday party.

Tim won’t be here for his birthday party.  And that breaks my heart.  And it breaks his heart too.

I know Caleb won’t remember it.  I know he will be fine.  But it sucks.  SO bad.

It’s hard to work on a marriage when Tim is gone so much.

And Tim’s job ends this week.  So, we don’t know what is going to happen next week.

There are just a lot of faith tests going on right now.  And I’m feeling a bit crushed, or pressed.

I have so much to do today.  I have so much that I should be using my time doing.  But I just can’t get myself to do it.

God is here.  God is carrying me.  But He still has to carry me through some dark days.  Thankfully, I’m not alone.

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2 thoughts on “Today is a mess

  1. “It’s hard to work on a marriage when Tim is gone so much.”

    I think that the best thing you can do is just be there for Tim, be as supportive and upbeat as you can. Be mindful of what he’s going through and do your best to be a good partner or help-mate to him!

    I think that God is wanting to teach you to trust in him completely! You stress about things that are out of your control, let go and leave it in Gods hands.

    Faith is the ability to find present comfort in the arms that have held you all along, and confidence/peace, that they’ll also hold you in the future!

    You are so blessed!

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