It’s not all bad. I’m going over and over the Bible verses in my head, I’m praying, I know God is here with me.
But I’m just having a really hard time today.
Tim’s job has been very demanding this week. Yesterday he didn’t get home until almost 1 in the morning…he started working at 9:30am. (I stayed up waiting for him so I’m way overtired which doesn’t help my mental state) I know, stupid crazy. Today he will likely be home about 10 or 11 tonight. Then he will work again tomorrow. Then Friday he leaves for a job for the whole weekend.
And Saturday is Caleb’s birthday party.
Tim won’t be here for his birthday party. And that breaks my heart. And it breaks his heart too.
I know Caleb won’t remember it. I know he will be fine. But it sucks. SO bad.
It’s hard to work on a marriage when Tim is gone so much.
And Tim’s job ends this week. So, we don’t know what is going to happen next week.
There are just a lot of faith tests going on right now. And I’m feeling a bit crushed, or pressed.
I have so much to do today. I have so much that I should be using my time doing. But I just can’t get myself to do it.
God is here. God is carrying me. But He still has to carry me through some dark days. Thankfully, I’m not alone.