Caleb has been having some problems at preschool.
Maybe that’s a little exaggerated, but he’s been getting notes home almost everyday – some good, some not so good. This week he hit a kid on Monday AND Wednesday. That is so NOT OK! And it’s been hard to deal with him at home too. He’s just been much more defiant than he has been in life. He’s always been such a compliant child.
I did something the other day that I have not been wanting to do. I’ve told myself that I don’t need to do it. But I finally felt like I had to do it.
I called his teacher and told her what has been going on at home. They told us at our first parents meeting that if there are any changes or anything at home (new baby, marriage, divorce, change in job schedules, etc) to tell them so they are aware and can deal with the child accordingly.
I kept telling myself that all that is going on with Tim and I isn’t affecting Caleb. We never talk about things in front of him and generally when he is awake all of our attention is on him.
But our attitudes and stress levels and what we’re dealing with affects us. And therefore it is affecting him. Kids are very perceptive.
But I just kept denying that it was affecting him. I couldn’t deal with the fact that I couldn’t protect him completely from all of this. I feel guilty, sad, like I have failed in some way.
As I talked to his teacher she told me that her first husband had an affair. And her boys were age 3 and 7, so can understand! She was very thankful that I told her and feels that it will help her work with him at school. She told me the best thing I can do is love him, read to him, play with him, all those normal things.
For some reason that was very freeing. I don’t have to “obsess” about how to correct his behavior at school. I just need to love him and be more positive around him when I’m at home. Just relax! Put aside the stresses and focus on this precious, wonderful little treasure that has been given to me.
My attitude is going to greatly affect his attitude.
So that’s what I did. And the day went SO much better!
I know, this is NOT revolutionary. This is NOT something that all of you don’t know. But I need to remember it. And writing it out helps me remember and gives me something to look back on.