Nothing much happened. No fun trips, or extra silly anecdotes about Caleb or anything like that.
But I think we might be making progress.
Monday was hard. I think I was naive and thought that only Monday would be hard. It hasn’t turned out that way. I didn’t expect to have to go through the stages of grief over and over and over. This whole season is going to be hard. It just is. There is no way around that. But I need to go through it. Do I dare say I want to go through it???? I don’t know if I’m that bold! But I think part of me wants to.
I want to go through it so I can get though it. So I can keep healing. So my life can be different. So life can get better.
There are a lot of details about life that I just can’t share here. But there have been a lot of ups and downs over the last month or so.
Right now we are in a little bit of an upswing. And that is scary. I’m afraid to admit that things could maybe, possibly, have a chance at getting better. Because then I feel like the other shoe will drop. I feel like at any moment things will go south again.
So, I’m working on wrestling my thoughts into submission. Sometimes I even win!
I am so thankful for all that God has done in me, for me and around me. I am amazed at His grace, His comfort, His gentleness, His love, His strength, His power, HIs forgiveness.
We will keep clinging to that!