What’s next????

I read this quote today on someone’s blog:

Give me your pain, God says,and I will make life out of it. Give me your broken, disfigured, rejected, betrayed lives, like the body you see hanging on the cross, and I will make life out of it. This is the divine pattern of promise and transformation which gives such hope to history. It is probably the central Gospel message.”

(Fr. Richard Rohr)

I should probably do research to see who this guy is and what context it’s written in, but I also know it does resonate with the gospel and what Jesus came for.  And I trust the woman who quoted it.

Anyway…..

I read it and just started crying.

And I can’t stop.

So I thought I would write about it and try to get this out of my head and heart.

So many things are so uncertain right now.  There are still so many unanswered questions.

It’s been a year now since life as I knew it would never again exist.  For a while I was content with not knowing what was next.  I knew I was in a holding pattern of sorts, and for good reason.  It was time to step back, and out of almost everything I knew, to figure out how to survive.  How to live.  What to do.

But it’s been a year now.

And I’m questioning what life is going to come out of this.

I still feel stuck in this holding pattern.  Just living each day.  One at a time.  With nothing to look forward to.  No major goals.  No direction. No passion.

Just living a bland, mundane, repetitive day over and over with little momentary blips of light.

I miss life.

I want God to turn these painful, broken, betrayed lives into LIFE.  REAL LIFE.

I’m tired of waiting.

I want to know what’s next!

I want LIFE, not just survival.

LIFE!

I’m not having a stupendous day.  Not a horrible day, but not great.

I’m sorry if I disappoint you with this post, but that quote just pricked something in heart and it’s bleeding all over and I had to get it out.

 

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6 thoughts on “What’s next????

  1. It’s so funny – I know our journeys are different but very often I find we’re at a similar place. I, too, have been stuck and tired of being stuck. It’s nice to know there are “parallel journey-ers” even though our superficial circumstances are different.

  2. My heart hurts for you. I am asking God to come and breath His breath of life, His hope and His healing into your lives and the life of your husband. Praying for the breakthrough to come.

    I love the new blog look!

    • i know you get it and for that i’m sorry. i’ve missed your blog, but am so glad you have taken time to “unplug” to “re-plug” back in! praying God is meeting you, transforming you, healing you and just generally lavishing His goodness on you!!! 🙂

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