Last night was Inter Varsity at MSOE. I was the speaker for the night.
And I made it through!!!
And I ENJOYED it!
I was SO nervous! This week has been insane. Tim hasn’t been home much longer than to sleep, childcare was a little touch and go for a bit…..just a crazy week.
And it was very emotional. Last night was the first time I’ve spoken to a group in over a year. And it was the first time I was going to mention the affair to a group. I didn’t go to speak about the affair, but it wove its way into the message.
I was a bit of a stress mess all week to put it mildly.
But we did it!! God and I….we did it!
I spoke long (over my alloted time)….ooops!! Sorry everyone!
But it felt good. It felt good to be nervous, to feel life flowing through my veins again. To let God use me. To speak to these precious, amazing students and challenge them with what God has for them.
I know I screwed up a lot. I know I lost my place in my notes. I know I went long. I know I stumbled over my words a bit. I know I paused too long while I tried to gather up my composure and not cry. I coughed a lot – it was REALLY dry in there and I forgot to bring water.
But I did it!
And it’s over!
And not like a “I’m so glad THAT is finally over”. But more of a “I got that under my belt. I did the first one. It’s done and in the books!”
I feel a little like I CONQUERED!
My biggest prayer is that God was able to touch their hearts. Because I feel like I got way more out of this whole experience than they did. This was very good for me. I know that sounds kinda selfish, but it was so good for me. The lessons I had to teach them I had to learn and put into practice myself!
I just want to enjoy feeling this way for a bit. I really wish I could bottle it up and keep it on a shelf for the harder days!
But, alas, it is back to life again. No time to celebrate! There are dishes to be done, Calebs to be fed and played with, toilets to clean, meals to prepare and coax down a three year old’s throat.
But, for now, I’m enjoying this conquest!