24 weeks…WAIT…WHAT????

MY view of my 24 week belly!

So, today I am 24 weeks pregnant.

That is 6 months.

And I am starting to PANIC!!!!

This pregnancy has gone by WAY faster than my first!  There is still so much to do, so much to get, so much to figure out, so much to get ready for.

I just don’t feel ready!  It’s going too fast!

In some ways February feels so far away.

It’s snowy in February….I still go outside without a coat on some days.

February is AFTER the holidays…..I haven’t even begun to think about Christmas shopping.

February is NEXT YEAR….2011 is far from over….right??

But, my due date is only about 3 and half months away.  AND THAT IS NOT LONG ENOUGH!

Right now, she is safe.  I can “easily” take care of her.  Caleb still gets most all the attention he needs.  I can still take care of him, get him to and from school easily, work on my design work, (sorta) take care of the house and meals, have a little time to myself to blog, read, nap, (gimme a break, incubating a human being is exhausting work!) etc.

BUT IN THREE AND A HALF MONTHS NONE OF THAT WILL BE TRUE ANYMORE!

I don’t know yet how I’m going to get Caleb back and forth to school in those first weeks.  I don’t know how I’m going to have enough time and energy to give him all that he needs (cuz let me tell you, he needs A LOT of energy!!).  I have NO idea how I will plan any meals much less grocery shop and cook them.  And cleaning?  Seriously??  I have no idea if/how much Tim will even be home to help with his crazy work schedule.  And time to myself to sleep, shower, read, blog, work, eat……YA RIGHT!

One of my biggest fears is that Caleb will feel slighted in some way.  Neglected.  Abandoned.  It breaks my heart and makes me cry to even think about hurting him or not giving him all he needs when the baby is here.  But babies require A LOT!  I don’t know if I’m going to have enough for both of them!

It’s certainly not that I don’t want this baby or that I’m not dying to hold her in my arms, see what she looks like, cuddle her, watch her grow.  I just feel SO ill equipped.  I don’t want to mess either of them up!

And time is going faster than I can handle!

So, stay put little one.  Don’t be making any surprise early appearances, ok?  Mommy has some work to do first!

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2 thoughts on “24 weeks…WAIT…WHAT????

  1. Oh Vicky! My heart goes out to you. Let me share 2 pieces of something that I hope will help.

    1. Get a baby carrier. One that you can wear all the time. If you breastfeed, find one you can breastfeed in. It will help SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH in you being able to meet the needs of both children at the same time. The baby can eat in there, sleep in there, relax in there, stay close to you in there and you still have BOTH your hands to play and be present with Caleb. Not to mention it will help you when you clean or cook or go to the grocery store. It literally saved my life when I went from #1 to #2. It will still be hard for Caleb. You will still be divided between 2 children who need a lot from you. Your heart will still break because the child you have given EVERYTHING to will now get a lot less than everything. But I promise – it makes a massive difference.

    2. Let go. The house will never be clean again. Meals will be seriously questionable for a while. Seriously. It will need to be a disaster for a long time. And that will need to be okay. Your kids are way more important (and I know you know this) than a clean house. But from personal experience, it is so easy to get caught up in wanting to keep everything organized and the way it “was” and forget that those things really don’t matter in the long run. If you expect the house to be a mess, your personal time to disappear and meals to be half-hearted then it won’t be so bad when that turns out to be true!

    Enjoy these last 16 weeks. Don’t worry about it. You are a smart, bright, loving woman and you WILL FIGURE IT OUT !!! You don’t have to do it now. Be in the present moment and your son and daughter, you and your husband, your mess and your life – will all be okay.

    Hugs and love.

    Summer

    • Thanks Summer! I actually did get a carrier! I never had one with Caleb, but it seemed like it would be really good to have with this little one, so i’m glad to hear that it made such a difference for you too. Thanks for the advice and encouragement!!

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