I’m kinda conflicted

Today Baby Bubbles is full term!  I hit 37 weeks today.  That means it is safe for her to be born anytime and everything should be pretty well developed.

And yet, I feel conflicted.

One one hand there are times when I am SO ready to be done being pregnant. I’m done with the pain, discomfort, the crazy swelling, lack of sleep (believe it or not I really think I will sleep more soon after she is here than I do now!  that’s how bad it is!), inability to bend over and pick something up off the floor, and this cold is just making everything worse!

Tim CANNOT wait to meet this little girl!  I can’t wait to see what she looks like and hold her in my arms.  Caleb even keeps asking if the baby is here yet.

BUT…..

On the other hand, this is the last time I will be pregnant.  And that is kinda sad at times.  I sit and watch her roll and squirm in my belly and am in awe that there is a little person inside me.  And I know I am really going to miss that.  There is just a special magic, amidst the muck, of being pregnant.  The amazing miracle it is to hold and nurture a life and watch it grow in my belly is something I’m really going to miss.

With the joy and anticipation of meeting Baby Bubbles, I’m feeling a sadness at this all being over soon.  And this sleep deprivation and hormones are not helping me to keep any sort of emotional balance to all of these feelings.

Two weeks (or less) will bring our little girl into the world.  There is still a lot of cleaning to be done in these last two weeks.  I, sadly, have never gotten that surge of “nesting” energy.  I have a DESIRE for things to get done, but the ability and energy to get up and do them….not so much!

Sometimes I feel like Rachel from Friends when she was yelling at her belly, “Come out! Come out! Come out!!”  And other times I just want to hang on to every little kick, nudge, roll and hiccup in my belly and want them to never end.

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5 thoughts on “I’m kinda conflicted

  1. Awesome, honey, I know exactly how you feel. I so enjoyed have you and Wendy in me with all the feelings you described. It never seemed to amaze me how God created the process of life in the body of woman. Enjoy these last days —- because really, the best is yet to come. When you look in her eyes all of these days will be behind you. I love you my daughter!!

  2. I am so excited that she is almost here! Praying for sweet rest as you prepare. And yes, it’s so wonderful being pregnant, we don’t ever want those moments to end!

  3. I know we don’t talk much but I happened upon your blog and had to tell you that I will be praying for this little one. She is so blessed to be born into your family. What an exciting moment you have coming when you meet face to face. What a joyous day – I’m almost bouncing in anticipation for you. May the Lord grant you rest and time to get the important things prepared and to accept the things that cannot be done.

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