A few girlfriends and I meet every other Monday to chat, enjoy each other’s company, and have some “spiritual” conversation. (Between us we have 7 kids age 1.5 – 8 years old running around too, so conversations are a bit fragmented!) We’ve been using the app YouVersion to read some of the Bible between the times we get together and then briefly discuss some of what we read. We’ve done this just a few times but I always look forward to my “Girl Time”!
These past couple weeks we’ve been reading from one particular reading plan that includes a “devotional” with each section of verses we read. We all have found we prefer that – it gives us a little focus of what to get out of the verses we read.
One that I read last night (I always do it in bed before I go to sleep…it’s quiet then!) hit my heart big time. It was about Leah and Rachel. Jacob fell in love with Rachel because she was so beautiful. He worked for her father for 7 years to earn her hand in marriage. But, at the last minute, her father switched her with her older sister Leah and he was married to her instead. It was not custom for the younger sister to marry first, and apparently her father wasn’t sure he could “marry off” the older/uglier sister. So, Jacob worked ANOTHER 7 years so he could actually marry his love, Rachel.
The verses talk about how hurt Leah was because she KNEW Jacob didn’t love her. His love and adoration belonged to Rachel. God saw her pain and blessed her with 6 sons which Rachel couldn’t give him children. Leah thought for sure all these SONS would earn her favor in her husband’s eyes. But that didn’t happen.
The gist of the devotional was that we all feel like a Leah at one time or another. For some of us we may feel like her all the time. Or at least often.
But God doesn’t see us that way. He looks adoringly at us ALL THE TIME.
We are to look for that love, those glances of recognition and adoration from God and THAT should fill our love tank from the inside.
Speaking as one who has ALWAYS felt like a Leah, that hit me hard.
I’ve NEVER been “the pretty one”. I’m pretty plain. And as the years wear on it ain’t getting any better! 😉
As a teenager I remember several times I was passed over by guys I was interested in for close friends and my more beautiful and vibrant cousin. Guys would talk to me simply because I was with those girls. I’m totally serious!
My sister is drop dead gorgeous! She is the younger “Rachel” and I’m the older “Leah” for sure!
And as someone who was cheated on, it’s hard to fight those “Leah feelings”. It’s very hard to fight feeling like I’m not “good enough”.
But I shouldn’t be looking to what other people think of me. I shouldn’t even look to Tim to fill that part of me.
I need to work on accepting love from my Abba again. My Daddy’s love for me needs to be enough. I need to LET him love me, hold me, heal me, fill me, guide me, even try to believe that He adores me.
The Bible says He does.
I need to make my heart believe it.
I have prayed that for Adara so many times! I pray that for Caleb as well, but there is something different about that for a girl. I don’t want her life to be spent needing approval, affection, or adoration from others….ESPECIALLY GUYS! I want her to be so filled with love from GOD FIRST, and then from her family that she has a sense of security that others long for.
And I need to pray that for me too.
Maybe she and I can work on that together! 😉